"Yes, indeed, why?" - you ask. And still think: "Well, fools! We must dream about success, and not be afraid!"
Well, yes, it happens until dreams suddenly start to come true. And you, as usual, are not ready - the crown is not polished, the scepter behind the chair has collapsed, the mole dress gnawed the ceremonial costume. And the Universe looks with reproach - they say, it seems that it has determined the wrong person on the throne.
Having spent all the strength to get on the coveted pedestal, you suddenly discover that you have no idea what to do next. This happens to everyone who is first achieving something significant in this life. Standing on the threshold of staggering success, you suddenly notice that everything is starting to fall out of hand. First, you feel an increasing sense of anxiety. You are annoyed by the smallest little things. Reliable people start to make mistakes. You are panic-stricken: "What is the matter with them? Don't they understand how important this is? Why are they so irresponsible to business?"
It becomes difficult to concentrate. You find yourself putting off those things that can finally lead you to success. You can blunt something stupid at an important meeting.
"What is going on with me today? ..."
You quarrel with partners and friends who wonder how long you have become so touchy.
Well, that's enough. This is enough to diagnose your classic symptoms of fear of success. This condition is especially dangerous because of its surprise. You strive for success, right? You worked hard to get to this red carpet, so why should you act to your detriment now?
The problem is that in our success-oriented culture we cannot even imagine that success can actually be damn scary. The same culture has inspired us that fear is an enemy that needs to be ignored and keep moving forward. It is then that fear and moves into our unconscious, manifesting itself the symptoms described above.
So, the diagnosis is made, you can start treatment
Sometimes we just need to admit to ourselves that we are really afraid to cope with our fear. Paradoxically, accepting your fear can help you relax.
We repeat: “It's all right, I'm just nervous - and this is perfectly normal, considering what lies ahead of me.” Take a deep breath. Twice a day, after meals. Or until. The main thing is not to instead.
Sometimes it is also useful to concentrate on what specifically scares you and find a way to cope with it. Let me give you three classic varieties of this anti-stellar disease and methods for their treatment.
1. Fear of not coping with success
In fact, success is more difficult to cope with than failure. The fact is that it is much more comfortable for a person to remain in a familiar environment, even if there is nothing good in it, - an island of security where a quiet life is guaranteed. However, achieving success means that you step onto uncharted lands, where you will be studied and criticized - in other words, there will be pressure, stress and everything else that is attached to that very crown.
As a normal person should be, you can doubt your ability to cope with all this joy. The little sneaky part of your ego will always choose not to risk it.
Well, yes, the very idea of overwhelming success can be frightening, but in reality it is usually much easier to cope with. If you have enough ingenuity in difficult times, then enough in good. Yes, you still have to change yourself, your habits, attitudes and perceptions, but you are quite a plastic and creative person for this, aren't you?
If you still have doubts, remind yourself that success will strengthen your reputation and self-confidence, expand your business, bring profit and open new doors for you.
2. Fear of betraying your beliefs.
Creative people have a difficult relationship with success. On the one hand, you would not read this blog if you did not strive for success, and on the other hand, you are not ready for success at any cost. Especially at the cost of losing your internal integrity.
Whatever your choice, if you achieve any success, you will definitely be discussed. And surely somewhere, somebody will say nasty things about you - especially such people like to say: “I was so good, and now I’m sold to someone-there — for money, fame or eternal youth.
The first thing you have to admit is that you can never please everyone without exception. Slander is the price for your success.
After that, make sure you are comfortable with your choice. Make a list of all the beliefs that you are willing to give up, and which are not. Keep a list with you. As long as you keep your word and observe inner harmony, an honest person will look at you from the mirror - no matter what they say about you.
3. Fear of becoming someone else
Successful people in our view are always on the podium - the crown is polished, the suit is ironed. Therefore, the very thought of becoming “one of them” can be scary. You will begin to experience that you will become a stranger - a person that your friends and relatives will not recognize or love.
It makes some sense. After all, if you were satisfied with yourself, why would you change? But this fear is also based on false assumptions — for example, that to change is to leave the old self behind and turn into a completely new person. Actually, changing is much more difficult. Yes, people are generally much more complicated.
Instead of thinking about the substitution of self (the loss of the old self), think about its complement and improvement. You are going to discover and develop new facets of your personality - to complement who you are and what you bring to this world.
Getting used to the new role will be unusual, but exciting. Do not forget, you can always remain who you have always been for your relatives and friends - yourself. When communicating with them, you will feel like you are getting into your old comfortable jeans after this damn full dress and heavy scepter.
Well, not so scary? Do not forget - twice a day, after meals. And everything will pass.
Adaptation of Mark McGuinness material Are You (Subconsciously) Afraid of Success?